However, there has got to be a balance. My priority will never be drag. It is a hobby, usually an expensive hobby, but a hobby none the less. My priority will always be my home life, my job and my family. Especially now, as I've seemed to have acquired an "insta-family," who I am falling more and more in love with the more time I spend with them. The kids understand their "step-mom" does drag (to the youngest, Freddy is thought of as his "step-Freddy"), they understand there are some weekend evenings that I'm not there to hang out and that I'll be home late. But, whether they know it or not, they, and their mom, are my priority. I will turn down a show if I'm needed at home. I will not risk losing them over this hobby.
I will continue to support this community as much as possible. Most know that all they need to do is tell me when, where and how many numbers and if I can swing it I'll be there. And if I win Mr Gay Pride on the 19th I know I will be busy for the next year, but I think that having a Mr or Miss Gay Pride who shows a dedication to outside responsibilities is a good thing. It shows that there are actually those in the community that care about more than just winning titles, drama and stroking their own egos.
I'm actually really excited that both boys will be able to come to the pageant on the 19th. And I know that at least the youngest one is excited too. The oldest may be as well, but it's always so hard to tell with 13 year olds. This is all very new to them, in more ways than one, and it makes me incredibly proud that they'll get to come cheer me on for something that means so much.
This past weekend was just a small example of how busy I can get with drag. I was just happy that my partner got to come with to the Tucson show, if not the Apollo's show. It's a very different dynamic with her than it has been with other partners, and to be honest it's kind of nice. She supports me 100%, but can't always get to my shows. I didn't ask her to be my dresser at the pageant, and I won't involve her any more than she wants in all the mess of drag. She's not a drag groupie, doesn't make it a point to get "in" with every king in town, and is content with the situation. She also knows, I hope, that she and the boys will always come first.
I just want to be the best Freddy I can be, by representing this community the best I can, whether I win or not. This community is more than just bars and go-go boys; this community is families and kids, youth and the older generation, home life, dinners, working stiffs (like me), and everyone and everything in-between. I represent all of them, and I will do so until the time comes to retire Freddy. Those who put drag before everything else, who count crowns and titles as the only things worthwhile in their life, it's a shame, because no crown, no title could compare to what I have at home.