I have a friend who, after inviting myself and my girlfriend over to her house to hang out, proceeded to tell me that she didn’t think we deserved the right to marry. Ignoring the fact that she’s in an interracial relationship, with an interracial child, I asked her why. Her response, “I try to live by the Old Testament.” Really? I didn’t realize you had converted to orthodox Judaism. Better put down the drink and the cigarette in your hand then. The crab legs in your freezer should probably be tossed out too. Along with all the other meats you have. To have someone tell me they don’t support our right to marry is one thing, to have them tell me it’s because they “try to live by the Old Testament” when that would be the ONLY thing they got out of the Old Testament, is a bunch of crap. Especially from someone who has experienced first-hand what it’s like to get flack for your relationship. A relationship, I might add, that up until a few short decades ago, was also illegal. You are in no position to judge us, or anyone else. It makes it really hard to be around this person, knowing she doesn’t support my relationship fully. Can you imagine if I’d walked in there and said, “You know, it’s great that you found each other, but the whole black/white thing… yeah, not ok.” I’d be branded a racist asshole. But when similar things are said about me and my relationship, it’s their opinion and they’re entitled to it. It doesn’t make them a bigot in any way.
I knew people when I lived in Tucson who were very much Republican, and HUGE Bush supporters. They thought Condaleeza Rice was the greatest thing since sliced bread. They were also the owners of one of the most popular bars in town, so they couldn’t really express their Right Wing views in public. Imagine how people would have felt being patrons of a bar where the owners themselves voted to keep us second class citizens… twice. The bar would have gone under. I’m not saying that every queer out there needs to get a rainbow tattooed on their forehead, but we really don’t need to be cock-blocking our own rights. Obviously, if you have to be a closet Republican then you must know how it would be received in the community. If it’s something you have to hide, maybe you should rethink things. If you can’t be out and proud, even as a Republican then maybe you should think about WHY.
We preach Equality, yet there is very little that is actually equal within our own community. It’s still very much a man’s world. Just pick up any LGBTQ magazine. Pictures of men, men in their underwear, men at bars, male models, ads for men’s clothing, men’s underwear, the list goes on. There are stores dedicated to almost nothing but men’s attire, underwear, accessories, etc. How many stores are there for lesbians? As I’ve said in previous drog, Queens are at a different level than kings. They’re men. Those in the trans community often aren’t even thought of as being in the community, even though they make up the T in LGBTQ. They get ostracized by the same people who are supposed to support them. We cannot expect Equality from those outside of the community if we can’t practice it within our community.
Hypocrisy is our greatest hurdle. And this is one hurdle that shouldn’t be lept over; it should be pushed through, stomped and pummeled into the dirt. Hold up the proverbial mirror to those who think to judge us, whether they’re a government official, a neighbor or your best friend. The more we can quiet the hypocritical words with whoops of equality and acceptance within our own community the better our chances to silence them completely.
Lead by example!