Integrity is a huge part of maturity. Everyone makes mistakes, especially when they’re new to the game. But own them, and don’t make the same mistake again. Mistakes are ok, as long as they’re always new ones. It means that you’re learning. We have a lot of people that support us, financially and otherwise. Do not do something that is going to let them down. “I needed the money” is not a good excuse to keep funds raised for charity. Goodness knows things are rough all over, but that’s just bad karma all over the place. Do not be shady and if confronted with proof, just be honest. Don’t try to come up with a dozen different excuses. Just fix it. Make it right. Then don’t do it again. Drag is an expensive habit. Support yourself and don’t expect others to support you.
Maturity means not turning the drag community into a replay of high school, regardless of how young you are. I don’t care if you’re 21, jobless and still living at home. This is still the real world, regardless of the amount of makeup and bling in it. It means that people have homes, families and relationships. These are all things that could be hurt by rumours, lies and not minding your own business. If you want to write a dozen pages of a blog calling your ex a whore, fine. But make it private. No one needs to know your business, especially if your ex is involved in the community. If your relationship ends, don’t turn it into a public issue. It gets tiresome. Find a friend and talk to them, get counseling, whatever. But leave it at home. Don’t take every issue you have with some chick or some guy who burned you and make a whole production (literally) out of it. You’re not fooling everyone, and you just end up looking like a bitter ass. The entire world does not need to know your business, and trust me, no one really cares.
Being mature means not passing on and encouraging bad habits. If you do any of the above things, it’s probably a good idea to grow up some before you decide to mentor someone else. People know when you leave your mark on someone, and it’s not always a good thing. When you take someone under your wing, you’re teaching them, helping them, but you can’t help someone else if you can’t even help yourself. If you are a veteran, there are people who look up to you, so think about the example you’re setting. These new kings and queens that are coming up are looking to us to lead them, and if they’re watching the people who get drunk and make asses of themselves, or do shady things in the community, or make it a point to trash talk whenever they get the chance, chances are they’ll pick up on those habits.
Maturity means being the best person you can be on and off the stage. The face you put on in public means very little when your actions behind the scenes are less than kosher. It doesn’t matter how well you speak when what you do contradicts what you say. Leave the drama in high school where it belongs, own your shit, and be a grown-up. This is what it takes to not only be a respected performer but to be a respected human being.
Learn it, live it.