Up until a few months ago the answer was always no. Not because I was opposed to the idea, but because my partners had never expressed an interest. They were all about Freddy on the stage, but at home, the drag needed to be gone before anything intimate could happen.
Sex and drag is an interesting topic. Drag is a fetish in and of itself, both for those who do it and for those who watch it. Just like any other fetish, there are different levels. I can see some of you reading this going, “What? Fetish? I don’t have a drag fetish!” Think about it for a second… How many of you have looked at a king or queen and thought, “Wow. He/she’s hot!” I’m a self-identified lesbian, who dresses and passes as a man so that people will give me money. I’ve had everyone from straight women to lesbians to gay men all offer to take me home… in drag! They all know I’m a woman, they all know I’m a lesbian, but it doesn’t seem to matter. Queens will have straight men half naked on stage, letting the queens do body shots off of them. If the queens weren’t in drag, do you think that having another man lick salt off their nipple would ever have been a probability in the guys’ minds? I’m going to go ahead and say no.
I was asked why I go to fetish events as Freddy. That’s easy… It’s like I said, cross-dressing in itself is a fetish. It just makes things more interesting when I’m walking around with someone and they get asked later, “So who was the guy you were with? Isn’t your boyfriend going to be mad?” Freddy has always gotten a lot more play than JC. A friend said a few weeks ago, “JC is cute, but Freddy is HOT!” When my current partner and I got together friends would tell her that now she gets the best of both worlds. For a lot of people, I am a novelty, as are most of us who do drag. We all have our groupies, our fans, even among the drag community itself. Drag seems to be that bridge between gender and sexuality. Our gender seems to play second fiddle to our fans’ sexuality. I always wonder what would happen if we went home with someone who was attracted to our drag personas. What would happen once the illusion was broken?
Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with incorporating drag into the bedroom. It can make things fun, different and exciting. The only issue that may occur is that the lines may become blurred, if you don’t have a very clear vision of who you are versus who you are in drag. Freddy and JC are pretty different. Freddy can get away with a lot more than JC. I don’t get half the attention out of drag as I do in drag. I’m guessing it’s about the same for most kings and queens.
I have heard from some people that being with someone in drag sexually is just “weird.” In my opinion, asking your partner to participate in gender play is no different than asking someone to put on a cop uniform, lingerie or break out the floggers. It’s about role-playing. It’s about what excites you. But just like any fetish, there are boundaries and there are rules. However, as long as everyone is consenting and happy, who the hell cares!