I saw a tweet from a friend today that said that someone they loved was a closet Right Wing Republican. They were unsure how to deal with this. What does one do when someone they love, especially if it’s someone in the LGBTQ community, belongs to something that has made it their goal to strip us of any and all rights, that does everything they can to keep us second-class citizens. Personally, discrimination I can deal with. Especially if it’s blatant and obvious and expected. It’s the hypocrisy that I have trouble with. The ignorant and the uneducated who believe that fags should all burn in hell, and interracial marriage should still be illegal, fine. I blame it on the fact that you haven’t gotten off your front porch in the deep south, with your shotgun on your knee, in generations. It’s just ignorance. Sometimes minds can be changed, sometimes they can’t.
It always makes me chuckle a little the first time someone sees one of my performance videos. Especially if it's someone I work with, who really had no idea Freddy even existed, or that I did anything outside of my cube.
"Wow. I had no idea you had it in you!" is one of the most common responses. "I really am impressed... Now I want to go to a show!" is another one.
That there are so many people who don't have any idea that drag kings even exist is still sort of baffling to me. Every time I explain to someone what I do, I get the furrowed brow, head cocked, pursed lips as they try to wrap their head around it.
A question I often get asked is: have you ever had sex in drag?
Up until a few months ago the answer was always no. Not because I was opposed to the idea, but because my partners had never expressed an interest. They were all about Freddy on the stage, but at home, the drag needed to be gone before anything intimate could happen.
Sex and drag is an interesting topic. Drag is a fetish in and of itself, both for those who do it and for those who watch it. Just like any other fetish, there are different levels. I can see some of you reading this going, “What? Fetish? I don’t have a drag fetish!” Think about it for a second… How many of you have looked at a king or queen and thought, “Wow. He/she’s hot!” I’m a self-identified lesbian, who dresses and passes as a man so that people will give me money. I’ve had everyone from straight women to lesbians to gay men all offer to take me home… in drag! They all know I’m a woman, they all know I’m a lesbian, but it doesn’t seem to matter. Queens will have straight men half naked on stage, letting the queens do body shots off of them. If the queens weren’t in drag, do you think that having another man lick salt off their nipple would ever have been a probability in the guys’ minds? I’m going to go ahead and say no.
I admit it was a bittersweet victory. On the one hand, I know I can do great things in and for the community with this title. Those that know me already know my presence in the community is pretty significant. By that I don’t mean I’m a big deal, I mean I try to get out there and do what I can, when I can. On the other hand, I know it’s going to be a rough year because of petty bullshit and trash-talkers. Someone always has something to say, and there are always that handful of people that listen. But it’s fine. I’ve been dealing with the same few people for years. It really hasn’t deterred me, except to make sure I don’t lend my name to anything that will pad their pockets, if I can help it.
It was a close win, my 1st Alternate Baron Von Ausome gave me a real run for my money, which made it a great competition. Even the new kid on the block, Derrick Seamen, did a great job for his first pageant. I was proud to be standing on stage with those two kings.
There are a couple of reasons why I write my drogs: 1) to have some place to put all the random stuff that swims around in my grey matter, 2) because people read it. Ever since I was little I’ve been writing; short stories, poetry, diaries. There are notebooks upon notebooks upon notebooks full of my scribblings. People always seemed to enjoy the stuff I wrote, at least the stuff I let people see. I wrote a short story for a friend’s birthday in high school, about a massive zit. It will still get brought up in conversation.
I’ve been doing drag for quite some time now. I’ve won titles, local competitions, state competitions, national recognition, and my own sort of fame. So have a lot of other kings. In the last few years especially we have raised the bar to an extraordinary level in terms of performance, costumes, the illusion in general. So then why are we still held at a different standard than the queens?
I love drag. I love performing. I love (most) of the people I've met through drag. I don't foresee myself completely retiring for quite sometime. I may do what I've done in the past and back out, minimising my contact with the community, but I can't see stopping completely.
However, there has got to be a balance. My priority will never be drag. It is a hobby, usually an expensive hobby, but a hobby none the less. My priority will always be my home life, my job and my family. Especially now, as I've seemed to have acquired an "insta-family," who I am falling more and more in love with the more time I spend with them. The kids understand their "step-mom" does drag (to the youngest, Freddy is thought of as his "step-Freddy"), they understand there are some weekend evenings that I'm not there to hang out and that I'll be home late. But, whether they know it or not, they, and their mom, are my priority. I will turn down a show if I'm needed at home. I will not risk losing them over this hobby.
So here we are, only a few short weeks away from the Mister/Miss Phoenix Pride Pageant. And I'm not ready in the slightest. It's been rough, what with me working 60 hour weeks and having practically no spare time. Doing it on your own is rough too. Because of my crazy schedule, I've decided not to try and rely on anyone else for help. It would have been too tricky to try and coordinate things like rehearsals, planning, etc. Of course, doing it alone presents its own number of issues, but at least they're my issues. I don't have to worry about putting anything on anyone else's shoulders. I trusted people last year and it almost ended in complete disaster. My dancers were phenomenal. My dresser was amazing. But my outfit for my talent and part of my evening wear was a shambles. First off, it wasn't even done (and i use the term loosely) until about an hour before i had to be at the venue. Second, they weren't even really done. The pants for my talent number weren't even close to what they were supposed to be, and were held together with a couple dozen stitches. My vest was a mess, badly sewn, and a wreck and my tie wasn't even a tie. It was a tie-shaped piece of material that velcroed around the neck. And I didn't get to see any of this until I unpacked it at the venue because it wasn't done when it was supposed to be done, say, a week prior. You can imagine how hesitant I might be to trust anyone with anything after all that. If I fail, at least it's on me and not because someone else dropped the ball. So I will spend the next couple weeks getting everything situated.
The question is how.
Time is what I'm lacking. Time, and about 3 more sets of arms. I would love to be able to transform into an octopus with opposable thumbs at times like these. It would make costuming and set making so much easier. I hate that I have the ideas, and all the pieces, it's just a matter of putting them all together and making them work. In my head they look fantastic. It's translating them to reality that can be tricky. Especially when my ideas tend to change on a moment's notice. Damn ADHD.
But regardless of the time, or lack thereof, I promise to give it my all and perform to the best of my ability come the 19th. It should be a good show, regardless. The queens are all fabulous and I know the kings I'm competing against will bring some great competition. If you haven't gotten your tickets yet, do it! And the pageant is all ages, which is great considering we're supposed to be representing the entire LGBTQ community, not just those who are 21 and over. I would love to see our youth there to support, I'd love to see parents bring their kids to support. We're all in this together, and we should take advantage of the all ages events that happen, since they're relatively few and far between.
It's going to be a mad dash for the finish line over the next couple weeks. Stress will be high, but i know I'll be able to pull it out.
Best of luck to all the contestants! I can't wait to see what happens.
2010 was an … interesting year for me. 2011 is already shaping up to be interesting and it’s barely February!
This drog is going to take a look back at last year, the good, the bad and the ugly.
Last year started off rough. There’s no other way to look at it. January saw my three year relationship fall apart, aided in part by the actions of people I thought had my back and cared about me. It’s rough when you suddenly realize just how selfish some people are and that they will walk all over anyone, even those they consider family, if it will serve their own needs. I had to deal with certain members of the community and their efforts to make sure my name was dragged through the mud at any and all costs. And while all this was going on, I still had to prepare for the Mr Phoenix Pride pageant that was happening in February.
There are reasons why I do what I do, and why I *don’t* do what I don’t do. There are times I second guess myself and my decisions but then inevitably something happens that just reaffirms my actions, or lack thereof. Unfortunately, when that something happens it usually also succeeds in reminding me just how two-faced people can be.
Award-winning, dynamic, entertaining, Freddy has been 'dragging' up the Arizona scene since 2005. Starting out in Tucson, he now lives in Phoenix and is a member of Sisterzz Twisted (voted Best Drag Troupe 3 years running in Echo Magazine's Reader's Choice Awards). He has performed at venues all over the country, from Oklahoma to California, and is proud of the thousands of dollars he's helped raise for charities over the years.