I often get asked advice from people trying to break into drag, from both aspiring queens and kings. Most of them see how the bar is being raised higher and higher and want to reach for that standard. But there are a few who are willing to just sit back and stick with a pair of slacks, a button down and a tie. How do you say to someone, “You know, the rest of us have tried really hard to get where we are and get to the level we’re at… to go out there in jeans and a t-shirt, or a shirt and tie, makes you look amateurish and kinda brings everything down.” I mean, I understand if they’re just starting out and want to get a feel for it, but obviously if you’re asking my advice you know what kind of a performer I am. If you think I’m going to say, “yeah, you’ll do fine in jeans and a t-shirt, or a ratty wig and dress” you’re sorely mistaken. I am all about helping someone, I just ask that you realize what the rest of us have done in this town to build the reputation of the kings.
Anyhoo, obviously I don’t just say “yeah, no” when the lack of costuming, etc is brought up. I’m not that kind of person. So instead I try to drop some subtle hints, ie. “Hey, there’s an all king show next weekend. You should come check it out and get an idea of what the other kings are doing around town.” Or “I don’t spend that much on costumes. I buy everything at Goodwill then buy random stuff in bulk at SAS.” But when the response is still, “Yeah, I have a good tie I can use” then obviously the message isn’t getting through.
I think I will always have this kreng jai type of mentality. Maybe I should be more direct, but I’m too passive and I hate offending, insulting or embarrassing people. I will help anyone who asks for it, but again, I can only do so much. If you want to be a performer, go and watch the best that are around you. And then find others. Search youtube for kings and queens. See what’s out there. You know who the best entertainers are in your community, you know who is considered to be less than the best. You know who you enjoy watching and who sends you to the bar or outside for a cigarette. We all started out as the “old” kings, in jeans, button downs, ties, etc. But we had the choice to either stay stagnant and get left behind, or rise to the challenge of raising the standards higher and higher. The art of gender illusion is more and more becoming just that: an art. Whether it’s kings or queens, it’s truly becoming one hell of a drag race with all of us chasing our own goals and trying to stay ahead of ourselves. It’s because of this that I am always open to help anyone who asks my advice, I want to help any new kings coming up behind get to where the title holders are now. Maybe bluntness is the key, maybe it’s not. If being blunt and direct and risking hurting someone’s feelings or sounding like a pompous ass is the way to go, then maybe this just isn’t for me. I will push, but not bully. I will lead, but not drag (excuse the pun).